Guide5 min read

A coaching session example, start to end

One invented coaching session from start to end: the agreement, exploration, new awareness, action and close, with notes on what the coach does at each point and why.

The short answer

Most coaching sessions have five parts. The coach and client agree what the session is for, explore the situation, the client reaches a new awareness, the client chooses an action, and the session closes against what the client wanted at the start. Below is one invented session that shows all five, with notes on what the coach does and why.

An invented session

The people and the conversation below are fictional. They aren't taken from a real session or a member's recording. A real session is less tidy than this one, and that's normal.

Before the session

Leah and Tom are both coaches in training. They coach each other once a week, and today Tom is the coach. They agreed the basics at their first session: 45 minutes, confidentiality with the usual limits, and that each session is Leah's to steer. So today Tom goes straight to the session agreement.

The session below is shortened. In real time it took about 40 minutes.

1. The agreement

The agreement

Tom: What would you like to talk about today?

Leah: My sister's wedding. I've been asked to give a speech, and I keep putting off writing it.

Tom: What would you like to have by the end of our time?

Leah: I think... to know why I'm stuck. And maybe a first line.

Tom: Two things, then: why you're stuck, and a first line. How will you know we've got there?

Leah: If I leave wanting to write it, not dreading it.

Tom: What makes this important to you now?

Leah: The wedding is in three weeks.

What the coach does and why. Tom doesn't start on the speech. He first gets a goal for this session ("why I'm stuck, and a first line") and a measure in Leah's own words ("wanting to write it, not dreading it"). He says the goal back to check it. With that agreed, both of them know what the session is for, and Tom can check later whether they got there.

2. Exploring the situation

Exploring

Tom: Tell me about the putting off.

Leah: I open a document, write two sentences, delete them, and do something else.

Tom: What do the two sentences say?

Leah: Something funny. A story from when we were kids. And then I think it's not good enough.

Tom: Not good enough for whom?

Leah: [pause] For my dad, I suppose. He gave the speech at my wedding, and everyone still talks about it.

What the coach does and why. Tom asks short, open questions in Leah's words: "the putting off", "not good enough". He doesn't ask for the full history of the family or tips for the speech. When Leah pauses, he waits. The question "Not good enough for whom?" moves the conversation from the task to what lies under it.

3. A new awareness

Awareness

Tom: I notice that when you talk about your dad's speech, you speak faster. What's happening for you?

Leah: I'm comparing. I'm trying to write his speech, not mine.

Tom: What would your speech sound like?

Leah: Shorter. Less funny, more... true. About what she taught me.

Tom: How does that feel to say?

Leah: Lighter. Like I'm allowed to write it.

What the coach does and why. Tom shares an observation, the change in her pace, without saying what he thinks it means. Leah finds the meaning herself: she is trying to write her dad's speech. The insight is hers, so she believes it. Tom then asks a question that looks forward ("What would your speech sound like?") instead of staying with the comparison.

4. Action

Action

Tom: What would you like to do with this?

Leah: Write the first line tonight. About the summer she taught me to swim.

Tom: What could get in the way?

Leah: Deleting it again.

Tom: And what will you do if you want to delete it?

Leah: Leave it, and send it to my partner instead. He'll tell me it's fine.

Tom: On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to do this tonight?

Leah: Eight. Nine if I do it before dinner.

What the coach does and why. Leah designs the action, the time and the back-up plan. Tom's questions test the plan but don't add to it. The scaling question lets Leah make the plan stronger herself ("before dinner").

5. The close

The close

Tom: We said at the start: why you're stuck, and a first line. Where are we?

Leah: I know why: I was writing Dad's speech. And I have the first line in my head.

Tom: And the measure was wanting to write it, not dreading it.

Leah: I want to write it. Actually, I want to write it now.

Tom: What are you taking away from today?

Leah: That it's allowed to be my speech.

What the coach does and why. Tom closes against the agreement from the start, in Leah's words. He asks what she is taking away, so that she says the learning out loud. If they hadn't reached the goal, he would ask what she needs next, instead of stretching the session.

What the coach didn't do

He didn't give tips for writing a speech, though he had some.
He didn't tell Leah that she was comparing herself with her dad. He described what he noticed and let her find it.
He didn't fill the pauses.
He didn't choose the action or the deadline.
He didn't let the session run past the agreement into a new topic.

Each of these is a choice to keep the thinking with the client. The questions Tom used are in powerful coaching questions, grouped by what they do. The same session follows the shape of the GROW model, and each part shows one or more of the core competencies.

Try it with another coach

You learn more from running a session than from reading one. Coach another coach this week with these five parts in mind, then swap, and talk about what worked. Peer coaching on Robin is free.

Find a coach for peer coaching